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"pinapaikot mo lang ako

Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang

patayin mo nalang ako"

-electric fan

"hindi lahat ng walang salawal

ay bastos"

-winnie d’ pooh

"Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad

kundi ang mapalapit sa iyo.

pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo"

-ipis

"Hala! sige magpakasasa ka!

Alam ko namang katawan ko lang ang habol mo."

-hipon

"Ayoko na! pag nagmamahal ako lagi na lang

maraming tao ang nagagalit! wala ba akong

karapatang magmahal?!?"

-gasolina

"Hindi lahat ng green ay masustansya."

-plema

"Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako’y sau

ayoko ko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao

ganun mo na lang ako itanggi.."

-utot

"Sawang sawa na ako palagi nalang akong

pinagpapasa-pasahan, pagod na pagod na ako."

-Bola

"you never know what you have

till you lose it.

and once you lose it, you can never get it back"

-snatcher

"Hindi lahat ng pink, KIKAY!"

-majinboo

"Ginawa ko naman lahat para sumaya ka

mahirap ba talagang makontento sa isa?

bakit palipat-lipat ka?

-TV

"hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin c"

-kili kili

Sige, batihin mo ako…. Sigeee…..BATEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

-omelette

pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako!

-libag

Anung kasalanan ko sayo, iniwan m nalang akong duguan…

-Napkin

"wag mo na akong bilugin.."

-kulangot

Hindi lahat ng hinog, matamis…

-pigsa

Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?

-Lego

Punyetang Buhay to! Itlog itlog! Araw2 na lang itlog!

-Brief

Wala naman akong ginawa sa kanya! Hindi na nga ako gumalaw dito.

Ako n nga yun ntapakan, sya pa un galit.. bakit ganun?

-Tae

Cge kalimutan mo ako para malaman ng iba ang baho mo!

-deodorant

"hindi lahat ng dugo puedeng idonate"

-regla

The new Euro language

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the
hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they
would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" by z" and "w" by v

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!