My Blog

I miss my friends back then.

I miss our laughter, sadness and everything.

Now I am going to see them,

I can’t wait

and I feel happy, happy to see those faces again..

But it’s difficult, when you go home,

and leave another one behind.

Where friendships, companionships, brotherhood, and families that you don’t expect develops.

It’s hard when you feel two different feelings at once.

Happiness and sadness– two opposites,

and feeling them at once is like going to heaven and hell at the same time.

I am going home. But I am going to leave one behind.

I know this is not forever.

But for a short time that we won’t see each other,

I know….

I’M GOING TO MISS YOU.

Thanks for the memories that we’ve shared

and I’m hoping that there will be more…

As soon as I see you again.

Thank you. Be safe.

tsk3.. That was wrong.. I realized everything was wrong..

What the heck was I thinking?

I over-reacted.. That was what happened…

I couldn’t think about anything else..

I just knew I was happy. Nothing more, nothing less..

And didn’t want anything or anyone to take that away from me..

Too imaginative… Too much expectations..

Not good..

I wish I can be dumb, dull, a moron, someone crazy..

Someone who does not imagine things and think as if it was reality..

Even if we know that it is not true.. Fiction, that’s what it is..

Is it not okay to be happy? Or maybe the right question is,

Do you really think you should be happy?

Think.. Think.. Be rational.. Don’t imagine things..

Imagination and fiction are sh*t..

They will never come true..

Never…

your smile, gestures, voice, everything

that’s just what I need

I’m enjoying every moment, every second when I’m with you

But now, I’m afraid, afraid to lose everything again

But who cares? I’m happy.

And I’m ready, ready for everything that might happen

I’m expecting the worst. Call it crazy but I am.

You were too far, a star, yes, a star chased by a mere boy

But now I’m here, with you, loving every moment.

Thanks, for a short time, you’ve made me happy

Very happy

hahahaha

that’s weird… everything.. everything’s weird…

I was not expecting this to happen.. But, yeah, it is happening…

smiles, hugs, conversations; that’s weird…

Just when I thought this was impossible.. haha

I’d rather have a friend who:

-slaps me in front of many people than ones’ who stab me at my back .

- curses me in front of my face than being talking behind me

-talks sh*t and says my faults that than being insulted without me even noticing it

-leaves me but knows when to come back than being one whose mind isn’t with me at all.

-I want a REAL friend, the one who can HURT me but will heal the pain, not some FAKE ones who pretends to be there listening but doesn’t act at all. Ü

Forget everything that I posted before this blog… It was the time when I had a blindfold in my head and didn’t want to see the world… Now I know, now I understand… I was blinded by the feeling that connected me to you… Never did I think of anything else and I never wanted to see the pieces of clues that were scattered around me… I can see that you’re happy now… I’m happy too… Very happy, in fact, I’ve never been happier my whole life… The fact that I understand everything now, made me realize how stupid I am to think that way… I never thought it would be that simple… I Never thought that it could ruin our friendship and everything… But you know, when I told you that, I meant it.. And now after everything that happened, I felt it wear off… And I am very thankful for that… I’ll become a better person… I’m really sorry for the things that I have done… I know you’ll understand… I’ll be back soon… I just need some time… But not to fight for this feeling, but to be a friend that’ll help you… When I’m back, I can face you and everyone else… I’ll understand soon enough that I need you all, my friends, who I know are there for me in times of trouble and understands every bit of me… Thanks for making me…

Did you ever experience some problems in your life that you thought you could handle? But then again, as time passes, you’ll find out you were wrong… I hate it this way.. I hate myself for being like this… I feel so stupid… In my mind right now, I wish all of those did not happen… Because after what I said, everything changed.. I changed.. We changed… It is difficult… Just when I thought I could already handle it, I realized I’m too weak for it… I can’t afford to change… Memories keep coming back… No matter how hard I try to forget.. They are like termites finding ways to destroy every barrier that I place… She’s just so special… I wanted her to feel that way… But how?? My mind wants to forget her but my stupid heart doesn’t… I wish I could… I wish we could just be friends and forget about what happened… Forget what I said… Forget everything except friendship… But can I do it? Can I? I guess only time can tell…

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?

Why do you still call it building when it’s already built?

If its true that we are here to help others, then what are others here for?

If you aren’t supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

We are a funny bunch of people living in a seriously funny world…

This day did not turn out as I expected… Funny how things seem to go your way and then all of a sudden, BANG! Sudden change of pace… 5 people go in a room happily… Comes out with conflicts… And this time, it’s BIG TIME! Kinda weird but it’s true… Hope we can resolve this soon… Tomorrow will be a day of silence… Not my type of day, but I have to adjust to it… I think this will continue for a long time… (I hope not)… Conflicts between friends is never easy… I hope we can survive this…

I felt some relief today… Wow, I can’t believe it… Actually, I wasn’t expecting this to happen but well, it did… Ü.. Anyway, what happened today was just what I needed… It kind of erased some doubts within me… Just when I thought that it would be over, something gave me a motivation… I hope this continues… I’m picking up myself again… Thanks a lot… Thank you so much!! That was just what I needed…